Saturday Night Live mashed up two of America's favorite reality shows for its cold open this week: We get a taste of special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation of the Trump's White House reenvisioned as if it were the finale of The Bachelor. In the sketch, McKinnon-as-Mueller shares some heartbreaking news with bachelorette Cicely Strong: He doesn't have a collusion case.
"Honestly, probably six", Mueller replied, eliciting a loud, bleeped swear from the reality star.
"I'm not going to give you a hug goodbye", she told Mueller.
The sketch, which starts out slow but amps up to some darkly amusing moments, depicts Strong's Becca increasingly in denial about the possibility that Donald Trump won't get indicted.
Mueller broke the news that he was "only half in with collusion" and that he had his mind on prosecuting the President for obstruction of justice instead.
"This is so f*cking embarrassing". "If I came like a stiff, you guys wouldn't be here tonight", he said, launching into an impression of himself as a boring president who does boring things, like expressing respect for the military or saying "God bless you".
After some time alone crying, Becca emerges from a locked room and asks, "So that's it?"
"So that's it? He's just going to be president?"
But Mueller did have some good news for Becca: "The Kush is cooked - and also, you're the next Bachelorette!".
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