Here's what you need to know: This is less Deadpool 2 than Deadpool Squared, a studio and its star (Reynolds is credited as co-writer) committing to hyper-violent self-referential comic-book buffoonery.
There are some actual emotional moments in "Deadpool 2", but, for reasons that should be quite clear, they can't be taken too much to heart - despite being well-directed by Leitch.
They haven't really said anything. If there is going to be a third one, you will all learn about it before I do. Even then they'd nearly assuredly have to pull back on Deadpool's throttle-not to bring him in line with the severity of the other heroes, but at least to get him on the same tonal playing field.
Of course, the gruesome dismemberment of our protagonist is no huge deal: Having begun his first-film origin story as a self-described "wheelbarrow full of Stage 4 cancer", Deadpool's superhuman healing abilities mean he's back in one piece in no time.
The real difference between two films is the budget.
"I have a toilet paper manifesto of my own, abut the inadequacy of toilet paper", Reese explained in production notes for the film.
It starts off tame enough with Ryan describing Josh as a "muffin smuggling, pirate puncher" which kind of reminds me of Elf where Will Ferrell describes himself as a "cotton headed ninny muggins".
Obviously now this confirms there is a time travel device, although it may have already been shown in Cable scenes from the trailers.
Still, hopefully in the coming weeks and months this mystery will be cleared up.
Steve Rose of The Guardian kept his praise close to his chest, pointing out that Deadpool 2 hits all the right notes in terms of belly-rumbling laughs, but often leans on the unsafe crutch of ethnic stereotypes.
"Juggernaut was a complete CGI experience", Beetz told us.
And we love him for it.
"And then we're just running around shooting at him, going backwards, but there's nothing there". Can you imagine what he'd have done after Thanos snapped his fingers? Who knew he was such a fan of Barbara Streisand's Yentl? That opening suicide attempt is inspired, in a flashback we see just a few minutes later, by the corniest dude-hero motivator this side of seeing his partner gunned down by a drug kingpin.
In other words, we have a second secret cameo on our hands...
OK, we might be pushing it with this one, but bear with us. Bringing back most of the characters who were alive from the first movie, the sequel also brings in its new set of characters, led by Josh Brolin and Zazie Beetz.
There are so many great jokes in this film, and it seems they poke fun at everything - other superhero movies, Ryan Reynolds, Trump, racism, feminism, and so much more. He and Tim Miller carved out an R-rated, violently comic niche for the superhero, but in doing so they've also cordoned him off from the rest of the Fox/Marvel universe.